Quiet Times & the spiritual answer to the Fermi paradox

Here’s another story for you.

Suppose Captain Kirk and the Starship Enterprise set out on their five-year mission to chart all the systems in this galactic sector (50 lightyear radius, about 1500 stars – obviously they can’t really visit all of them at warp factor seven (343 times lightspeed), but let’s say humanity sent out some other exploratory ships as well, each covering a quadrant). In all their travels, they don’t encounter a single spacefaring lifeform.

And that confuses them. At least at first, anyway.

They do, however, come across around a hundred intelligent, tool-making species with varying levels of simple technology and, bizarrely from the captain’s point of view, all of them are perfectly contented with their lives. They all live peaceful, spiritual lives in harmony with their environment and each other. In fact, most of them are older than humanity. And wiser, too, many of them. Indeed, maybe some of these lifeforms tell the captain (once the translation issue has been resolved) that once upon a deep time in their own history, say a few million years ago, they did go through a phase of building spaceships and the like but it didn’t actually last much longer than a few hundred thousand years and then they settled down to the spiritual life they now enjoy.

Sure, some of these lifeforms would be curious about the starship and the humans’ technology, but tell the confused captain that they have no desire for any of it or to ride around in starships and all the rest of it. They are happy as they are.

Now, leaving aside any satirical humour about imperialist humans (or Americans, rather) doing their colonisation thing and exploiting these brave new worlds for their resources and cheap labour, one can well imagine how flabbergasted the captain is.

I love that word ‘flabbergasted’ by the way. Note to self – use it more often.

“What?” says the captain, “Why don’t you want all our consumer items?”

I’ll leave it there. But after talking with these lifeforms the humans discover that spirituality is the most common shared purpose amongst intelligent lifeforms. Evolution, in other words. You don’t need to fly around in spaceships to evolve. In fact, in many ways, advanced technology could be seen to prevent evolution. Especially spiritual evolution.

What I mean by spiritual evolution – think reincarnation and souls – essentially means increased understanding of the nature of reality and existence, and ultimately moving into the non-physical phase of existence. Evolving into outer time, as we Paschats might call it.

And these (time) travels into outer time can, and indeed do, happen before that final transition. It could be argued that you won’t have that final transition until you do that kind of thing. There are meditational practices for travelling in time (and space) without any need for technology. Shift into outer time, set your inner-time destination, then go there. Then back again, hopefully (do please remember your personal symbols – take your anchor with you).

Technology, indeed, as I say, can get in the way of such things. Besides, I have a personal nervousness when it comes to time-ships (but that’s another story).

A similar thing happened with our species. The Karidel, as I’ve previously suggested, were already very spiritually evolved by the time Nebthwt became uninhabitable. Some of them had travelled around in time-ships but they were soon to evolve into outer time, so the idea of expanding out into the galaxy and establishing colonies and so on didn’t really occur to them.

We Paetri, however, were not so evolved. We understood that we still had quite a way to go before we got to that stage. So when we came here to Danuih and learned about the Capellans’ advanced technology it really was quite fascinating. We are, after all, nothing if not curious. And there is certainly an undoubtable romanticism in flaying around in starships exploring new worlds and making new friends.

But eventually, you start longing for home again. And so you return, and you settle down, and you follow the Karidel’s path. All of this happened a long time ago in linear time terms, that is, which is why you won’t be seeing us if you venture out there in this time-zone. At some point, soon enough, however, I shall be going back home – which is to say, back to a different time-zone, a long time before that asteroid came along and allowed your little scurrying mammalian ancestors to evolve a bit more. It’s interesting to see what you came to be, for sure.

But we shall go back home and be happy there.

If I remember correctly, that time – some 120 million years ago – was what is known as a ‘Quiet Time’ in our galactic sector. This is one of the other answers to your Fermi paradox.

Galactic sectors fluctuate between quiet and busy times, each lasting several million years, sometimes longer. By quiet and busy, of course, I’m not referring to the number of intelligent, tool-making species alive in the sector at any one time, but rather to the number of spacefaring species. Remember also that species come and go – and on any selected planet, too. A lifeform might evolve, spend a while spacefaring, go back home, live simple, spiritual lives and then evolve into the next, non-physical phase of existence – what you would call ‘extinct’. And then, assuming a stable environment (often artificially maintained, of course) another ten or twenty, say, millions of years later another intelligent, tool-making lifeform evolves on that planet and the cycle begins again.

Add all this up, and inevitably you will end up with quiet times and busy times. That’s just the way of things.

Likewise, many lifeforms never feel the need to develop the kind of advanced physical technology which you humans have. At least, not in the same way or along the same pathway. Atlantis is a case in point. One of the reasons you don’t see much in the way of archaeological evidence of an ‘advanced’ civilisation is because they didn’t use the same kind of technology as you do. Yes, they did reach an extremely advanced level, but not in the way you would think it. They didn’t need to build skyscrapers and ICBMs to prove to themselves how wonderfully clever they were. In fact, I would say – and most people who remember The Old Country would doubtless agree with me – that the people of Atlantis reached a higher level than present-day humans. And not just because they didn’t build weapons of mass destruction or televisions or shareholder value – it wasn’t just because they were spiritual. Their technology was more subtle. They saw the world, the universe and everything – and therefore the ‘laws of physics’ shall we say – in a different way. Their technology was more practical, rather than consumerist. And as a spiritually communist society, with a fully functioning welfare state and little need for money, or patriarchal power structures, the idea of an ‘industrial revolution’ would’ve seemed somewhat absurd to them.

Today, I sometimes get the feeling that given the vast range, or discrepancy, between the levels of intelligence (emotional and psychological) and spiritual evolution of human beings – that’s to say how evolved the soul is – perhaps one answer to that question is that the older souls are the ones who did live at least several lifetimes in Atlantis. And this explains their superiority. And, indeed, their ‘ill-fitting’ to this present-day society. These are the ones for whom petty little materialism and social climbing and the pathetic machinations of the globalist cabal are all beneath them. They do not allow themselves to be tempted or manipulated and deceived by propaganda and lies.

And many of them, I am sure, probably see the vast mass of modern humans as an alien species.

These are higher souls. Perhaps the problem with today’s world is that the vast majority of human beings are lower souls. I don’t think I’m the only one to have suggested that. It makes sense.

That’s not to say, however, that ‘lower’ means ‘barbarian’ or ‘brutish’ – not at all. Just simpler and younger. We older souls were young once too, remember. So this is not intended to appear patronising. All of us are somewhere on the evolutionary pathway.

But if our captain Kirk and the crew came across Atlantis, would they see themselves as more, or less intelligent and advanced? Would they have the emotional intelligence to answer that question?

So there’s your answer to the Fermi paradox.

Most species, far from developing technology and destroying themselves, just like to lead simpler lives.

You’ll find that out soon enough.

And hopefully, when that time comes, you will understand diplomacy.

Conspiracy theories – how the dystopians get away with it

One reason I don’t much care for Marx is because he appears to operate within a system designed by and for the exploiters, or dystopians, as I call them. The notions of ‘class’ and ‘ownership’, after all, are not natural constructs. They have been imposed on humanity by these dystopians for the purposes of division and psychological control. Once upon a time, so to speak, such notions were unknown to humanity. Marx simply replaces one set of ‘owners’ with another set.

So, although I have never been a big fan of Marx, I would acknowledge that he was correct about one thing, namely the existence of exploiters and exploited. However, one shouldn’t accept this as a structural phenomenon. It’s not natural, in other words. One would do better to think in terms of psychology. Whilst it is true that there are often ‘leaders’ or ‘social decision-makers’, especially when a species is young, and that these groups will exist as such simply by virtue of their more mature psychological differences and intelligence, it does not at all logically follow that this group would necessarily exploit the people under their charge. In my species’ history, for example, the Karidel, who formed the social decision-making ‘class’, would’ve thought exploitation an absurdity. They were benevolent. Why wouldn’t they be? And that’s similar for most species when they’re young.

It was like this on Atlantis, by the way.

Psychologically, or socially, it’s simply not beneficial for that group to exploit. It’s a sign of weakness, fragility and fear, the need to control. Which, of course, suggests that they are not the ‘elite’ at all, but actually the opposite. Dangerous and deadly, for sure, but not elite. One only needs to look at the state of the world they have created and which they perpetuate in order to understand this truth. The solutions to the world’s problems are, after all, extremely simple and common sense. And yet they are not being put into practice by the social decision-makers. So either they are stupid, and do not know what these solutions are, or they do know, and deliberately do not do them. Obviously, they would like people to believe it is the former – they like hiding behind the myth of incompetence. But rest assured, reader dear, they are not incompetent, and they know exactly what they do (so don’t forgive them). But their continued position depends upon the populace believing in their ‘well-meaning but incompetent’ façade.

But it is a lie. Like so many of their attributes and utterances.

In order to understand this lie, a little psychology is in order. Or, to be more precise in this little essay, basic neuroscience.

The two main methods dystopians use to promote their propaganda and belief in their conspiracies and their own conspiracy theories (official narratives) are storytelling (narratives) and bombarding people with emotions (usually negative ones) in order to control their thoughts. They do not, as it happens, need to directly control people’s thoughts, because the structure of the human brain does that for them. When a human is bombarded with emotions, that’s to say, along with a narrative, those emotions and stories determine their thoughts. The individual creates the subtext, not the propagandist.

Incidentally, it is an insightful thing to realise that one common factor amongst those who can see through all this propaganda, who have a kind of immunity to dystopian conspiracies, is the ability to meditate. Coupled with this, inevitably, is a strong sense of the spiritual. When one meditates one is essentially shutting off the connection between the emotion-processing part of the brain (the amygdala) and the pure-thought part (the prefrontal cortex), thus allowing thoughts to be clear and lucid and unadulterated. Obviously, meditational practices should be taught to children as standard, but that’s for another essay. One thing that is interesting, however, is that brain scans (such as fMRI) do show marked differences in neural architecture between those who routinely meditate, and those who do not.

Storytellers themselves amongst my dearest readers will, I hope, be quite intrigued by what I’m about to say. So perk your ears up.

The amygdala is, in fact, split into two distinct parts, right and left. The right amygdala is responsible for, amongst other things, the processing of negative, or fear-based stimuli and emotions. The left, by contrast, processes positive emotions (including the reward system). The amygdala is also strongly related to memory-retention and processing.

So you can probably see where I’m going here. Bombard a person with negative and fear-inducing situations and you will induce fear-based emotions which, in turn, will fill up a person’s memory and dictate their thinking processes sccordingly. If you do this over an extended period of time (repetition) then those processes and the responses to them will become conditioned, because they will be reinforced in the brain’s architecture.

You may have also noticed how dystopians like to portray themselves as saviours. For example they create the problem then pretend to provide the solution (i.e. freedom from the object of the fear). So long as you are obedient and vote for them, obviously. That aspect of their strategy is directed at the left amygdala, which is also responsible for processing rewards.

This is also, naturally, the kind of thing known as ‘coercive control’ – essentially a two-step process of ‘threat’ followed by ‘reward’ (for good behaviour and submission). That reward could simply be the absence of threat.

The second aspect of propaganda and conditioning is contained in the notion of narratives/stories. Human beings see the world through stories, it is how they make sense of the world around them (and their own place in it, including their social group). You can see this at work in children quite readily. Which, naturally, places a significant degree of responsibility in grown-ups to tell the right stories.

The dystopians, of course, do not tell the right stories. Well, they do from their point of view, but not from humanity’s point of view. Remember also that what they call ‘scientific opinion’ is equally a story. ‘Scientists say such and such’ is not a statement of fact, it’s a story. People have been conditioned to think of the word ‘scientist’ as ‘authority on a subject who can be trusted as telling the truth’. And so if ‘scientists say such and such’ then, as far as the listener is concerned, it ‘must’ be true.

Unfortunately, of course, it often isn’t. The same applies to historians.

But I don’t wish to get sidetracked. If you take a step back and examine how current events are framed and presented to you (by the mainstream media) you will quickly see how all they are doing is telling you a story, in which they carefully regulate which side of the amygdala they need to appeal to. They are not, actually, telling you facts. They are telling you emotions and stories (often engaging your natural empathy – example: fake atrocity stories from Ukraine). It is then you, the reader, so to speak, who creates the subtext yourself and transforms it into ‘facts’ in your brain (or your brain’s memory). If your brain perceives this ‘stimulus’ as ‘fact’, then it will ‘categorise’ it as a fact in its memory. This then requires ‘reinforcement’ – the story is told over and over (by so-called ‘experts’) meaning that each time you hear it the ‘fact’ becomes more embedded.

This has the added bonus of getting ordinary people themselves to repeat these stories/‘facts’ to everyone else in their little social groups. Thus you end up with ‘groupthink’. Once you, as a propagandist, have let this story loose, your avid audience will unwittingly repeat it for you on your behalf. How neat.

Remember, it’s not the ‘author’ who creates the subtext, it’s you, the reader. All a skilful writer (or propagandist) needs to do is provoke you into creating the subtext they want you to create (often framed by cultural conditioning).

So if someone like me comes along and tries to tell you ‘no, actually, they were lying to you, it’s not a fact at all’ you will react against me, because as far as your brain is concerned, it is a fact and therefore it’s me who is the liar. Likewise I must be threatening and fear-inducing because I’m genuinely threatening the architecture of your own brain and trying to get you to distrust your own memories, not to mention your identity as a person, which is largely framed by your shared cultural history (storytelling). So if I threaten your cultural history, I threaten you personally. Then for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Example – you watched the Twin Towers collapse on 9/11 whilst being bombarded with scary emotions – then some ‘experts’ came on the TV to tell you a story – who the bad guys responsible are, and how the Twins collapsed (‘structural failure’). The rational part of your brain is telling you you’re watching a controlled demolition, but the emotions (the right amygdala) overrides that. So of course you trust them, they’re experts, aren’t they? Why would they lie? Aren’t they the good guys? Now this gets reinforced over and over, and anyone who tells you a different story is associated with negative-inducing emotions and therefore, for your own survival, to be avoided, shunned and, if necessary, violently persecuted.

Ask any honest, unconditioned genuine expert on physics, architecture and engineering, however, and they will laugh at the official narrative. They will tell you the only way, according to those laws of physics, that those buildings could have collapsed is by controlled demolition.

But you may have noticed why those thousands of experts haven’t really had any impact. The reason is simple – they are not telling a story. Human beings don’t see the world in facts, they see ‘emotional resonances’. There’s no point in simply telling you it was a controlled demolition, because that’s just an abstract fact. But the consequences of that fact, well, that is emotional.

So, what if I was tell you a story about a girl called Katrina who, in a parallel world, helped stop 9/11 and expose the bad guys by deactivating most of the demolition charges and leaving them for the New York Fire Department guys to find? Then all the bad guys – let’s say it was lots of people in the Bush administration – were arrested, put on trial, and then left to rot away the rest of their lives in ADX Florence. Then they revisited the hanging chads in Florida and proclaimed Gore the winner. So there was no terrorist threat after all – it was the CIA (as usual). So no invasion of Afghanistan, no invasion of Iraq killing a million or more innocent people. Let’s say the 8 trillion dollars America will have spent on the so-called ‘War on Terror’ was instead spent on amazing things like free healthcare for everyone, a von Braun space station, a massive space telescope that detected a biosignature at Alpha Centauri, a maglev network, a cure for cancer, fusion power, and so on. Now that’s a positive story. It might just work! Which version of history, after all, would you rather live in?

For most people, of course, this ‘it was a controlled demolition’ is too frightening to consider because of the implications – simply ‘your own government is capable of murdering its own people – i.e. you and your family, if they decide to’. But you voted for them! They said they cared! They told you all the right words and made you look over there at the ‘other’ for the enemy. Mummy I want to go home! People like me tell scary stories – of course you’re going to reject those stories.

So you have been conditioned to fear people who bring scary and threatening messages to you. You hurt the messenger, and thus you push the message away. Better to believe in your safe world in which your government loves you and will ‘take care of the bad buys’ for you.

That’s just one example. ‘Climate change’ is another obvious one. Although that seems to have lost its impact in recent years – most people aren’t concerned about it because there’s no ‘seeing is believing’ factor involved, despite desperate attempts to portray any remotely unusual-seeming weather as ‘extreme weather events resulting from scary climate change which you – yes you! caused! You’d best change your behaviour just like we tell you to!’ Essentially the climate change fearmongering has run out of steam, because – inevitably – people can’t, in all honesty, see anything happening.

‘Covid’ is the most recent. But I’m not going there or we’ll be here all night.

You can probably think of other examples, I’m sure. Like if I told you I’m in full support of Russia’s military operation in Ukraine this would induce negative emotions in you (apologies if you’re already clued up about what’s really been going on). Examine those emotions. Where do they come from? Who gave them to you? And why? What benefit do they get from you thinking like that?

You don’t get any benefit, by the way, but they do.

They do in the grand narrative sense. A new Cold War with a perpetual (Orwellian) enemy for you to fear. And so it starts again.

These people will not stop. Ever. They’re like the Terminator – you can’t reason with them. Or bargain with them. They don’t feel pity, or remorse. They have no conscience.

All they have is a pathology.

In a sane, healthy world, children and young people would be taught how to recognise that pathology and ostracise it.

Children would be taught the right stories. Like in the Steiner education system, their upbringing would appeal to their left amygdala, far more than the right. Taught that the world and life can be good and beautiful and full of wonder to be curious about and worth living.

I may write something later about where this all started in your (psycho)history. Where it went wrong, I mean. Once upon a time, humanity was taught the right stories and they were spiritual.

But then the anti-spirit came along. Sorry to go all Nietzschean on you, dearest readers, but that’s the root of this evil matter.

But that’s for another story.

An ‘other’ love

I’ve heard it hypothesised that these people who seem to exercise all the social control in the human world are not in fact human at all. That rather they are some kind of demonic alien force. There is a certain truth in this, of course – if we take the word ‘alien’ in its literal sense of ‘other’. For they are definitely not ‘normal’.

As I have suggested, they are ‘aberrations’. They too have evolved and adapted until now, whatever inhuman mess takes place inside their heads cannot be called human anymore. They simply don’t think like the rest of us.

As a result, for many, despair sets in. The idea that these types are far more cunning and ruthless and lacking in conscience and therefore have the decisive advantage over humanity, and that humanity is simply not sufficiently intelligent nor strong to defeat them. Well, certainly without solidarity humanity is not strong enough. The aberrations know this, naturally, and spend much of their time pitching humans against other humans. The old divide and conquer strategy – for they have learned, with history, that it works. Any out-group will do to misdirect attention and prevent this necessary solidarity. Socialism, after all, has become a dirty word.

The further suggestion, then, is that in view of this it will take nothing short of a miracle to save humanity from these psychopaths. Well, if we could replace ‘miracle’ with something like ‘external intervention’ then we may be onto the right lines. On the other hand, it is certainly the case that humanity needs to learn to resolve its own problems. This, perhaps in a nutshell, is the problem of evil.

So that places we external interventionists in something of a quandary!

Still, as I sit here in the brightening spring sunshine in the beautiful fresh, clean air and clean skies amidst all the greenery I see how obviously oblivious nature herself is to all of this human issue. The birds go about their business as they have done since humans never existed and will do long after they are gone. Everything else in nature, the same. The trees just sway in the soft wind, the cat snoozes and stretches itself in the midday sun and the bees, happily, flit from flower to flower immersing themselves in the sweet pollen.

Danuih herself, then, continues to breathe and perhaps, chooses not to pay attention to the small-minded, petty machinations of humanity and its aberrations.

Notwithstanding, naturally, the localised areas of damage these aberrations continue to cause. All that chemical-spraying and geoengineering chemtrails and deforestation and plastic-pollution and all the rest of it. Perhaps she will decide to evolve a new set of microbes capable of breaking it all down. She has time on her side, after all. And she also knows that humanity, despite its pretensions to power, does not have the capability of destroying her body. All so tiresomely anthropocentric, these foolish humans.

And perhaps she knows that, perhaps sooner than many believe, this external intervention – this miraculous alien love for her – will be arriving well before it is too late.

We will see.

A ray of hope for humanity

I would imagine that most of my dearest readers are from the western hemisphere. That is to say, they all live under the deceitful, neoliberal imperialist system which, clearly, makes people slaves without their even realising it. This system is, of course, dictated by the American Empire, and has been for some time. As with all empires, it seeks a global dominance, in which all peoples and nations are subjects within the same system. Historically, it has used either covert means (CIA coups) or overt means (military action usually involving some bogus pretext, including false flags) to either destroy or subjugate nations and peoples who have had the temerity to wish to choose for themselves a different way of life more suited to their own cultural identity. This usually translates as something like ‘socialism’, of course, that being a system tending to benefit the majority, as opposed to the American system which only benefits the minority (the few, not the many).

For the previous thirty years, for sure, this American Empire has had its way, and been able to successfully counter any such dissident nations. But in light of recent events, clearly not anymore.

Alongside this imperialism, we also have the so-called grand conspiracy which, likewise, seeks global domination, albeit in a more covert and, well, conspiratorial way (often by taking control over nations and their institutions, usually in the economic sphere). Since I don’t really know what these people call themselves anymore, I’ll continue to refer to them as simply dystopians. Interestingly, one might also suggest that these people also control this American Empire, and have traditionally used it as their base of operations, so to speak. Likewise Europe. Their latest scheme seems to be called ‘The Great Reset’. What this means in detail can be found elsewhere – these details do, of course, interest me from an observer’s point of view, I mean I am curious, I suppose, but in the end it simply amounts to the classic technological dystopias one can find in many science fiction stories. Interestingly, it is no surprise that it is a subgenre of science fiction because such dystopias can only really function with advanced technology. Essentially you need that in order to monitor and control the population, which will need to be segregated and prevented from coordinating any kind of resistance movement.

It’s quite easy to read their game plans. They very much enjoy developing technologies like ‘central bank digital currencies’ and ‘digital IDs implanted into the individual’ and ‘Neuralink’ (or whatever it’s called) and all the rest of it. I would imagine under the control of benevolent people such things could be useful tools for humanity, but then again, under the leadership of benevolent people they wouldn’t be necessary, would they? In order to produce a kind of techno-feudalist society they will also need to destroy manufacturing and industry, whilst retaining total control over large-scale projects – to this end witness the so-called ‘Green New Deal’, which is being pursued and promoted using ‘fear of climate catastrophe’ and CO2-demonisation – under the neoliberal system, of course, this can be successfully blamed on the individual and their lifestyle etc. (it’s never the fault of the powerful, in these sorts of systems). For the segregation, any threat will do – the easiest and least messy of which is a biological threat (e.g. a pandemic). Their latest example having been an abundantly successful social experiment for them. In fact, I would wager, far more successful than they would have originally hoped. They must be clapping their little hands together like excitable primates.

Anyway, personally and from a grand galactic perspective scheme of things, I find all of these people quite frankly utterly fucking pathetic. They are, and have always been, small-minded.

Normal people do not need control over others, because they understand that within their harmonious social group being excellent to each other is reciprocated, and therefore the very best way to keep themselves safe. Put it this way, given the choice between protecting or saving the arsehole of the group, or that one who made themselves your genuine friend, and came to your aid when you needed it, which one would you choose? Rhetorical question, I know.

Likewise, normal people would never choose war or conflict or hatred of others (out-groups) – for much the same reason. Cooperation is far more beneficial than conflict. This is just a logical evolutionary survival adaptation. That’s why it became ‘normal’ for human beings over the course of their long evolution (several hundred thousand years).

So these dystopians, then, clearly they are aberrations. That’s all they’ve ever been. In ancient and prehistoric times they would have been simply ostracised, and would not have survived. But then came the agricultural revolution, humans lived in larger groups in which hierarchies of labour and organisation were required, and these aberrations discovered ways to survive and assume positions of authority over others. Nevertheless, it took them a while – some five thousand years or so since the end of the ice age. Since then, however, they have only adapted further.

Fortunately, however, dearest reader, it seems to me that their time will soon be at an end. I’ve already written elsewhere about the impending catastrophe resulting from the realisation that humans are not alone, so little more needs to be said on that count. Except to suggest that perhaps this niggling little spanner in the works was something which these small-minded dystopians never considered. There’s always a bigger nix, as we say. I think, though, that they have come to realise this lately. Perhaps this explains their panic.

Anyway, there does seem to be a ray of hope for the human species. But given that, as I said at the outset, most of my readers live unsuspectingly within the shadow of the American Empire, they may be prone to reacting against what I am about to say. Because this salvation is not going to come from within that miserable empire, but from the eastern hemisphere.

The thing to understand here is quite simply this: whereas the western globalist agenda seeks a unipolar world in which all humans live under the same system, whether they like it or want to or not, a different attitude is taken by those in the east, particularly the two other most powerful countries right now, Russia and China. Thankfully, these two have been forging a laudable alliance, and they are not alone in that. The solution to how to overcome the globalists is and has always been solidarity, after all.

This eastern alliance seeks a multipolar world in which each individual people and culture and nation is free to choose their own way of life, without fear of being subjected to imperialism. A multicultural world in which everyone respects each other, culturally and economically and otherwise (if that sounds like my description of our galactic sector, then that’s intended). People subjected to western propaganda may say ah, but aren’t they authoritarian? (What? And the American Empire isn’t?!). Sure, one might respond, but they are only so because they are faced with a genuine threat. Once that threat is removed, no need for authoritarianism any longer. It would’ve been like this in Germany had World War Two never happened, interestingly enough.

So whilst the small-minded dystopians have been scheming, Russia and China have been solidifying their cooperation and both have been embarking on massive investments in connectivity and trading relations with other countries, mainly in Central and Southern Asia and Africa (although surely they will be joined by the socialist countries in South and Central America before too long). The Belt and Road Initiative is just the most well-known of these enterprises. There are others. If this multipolar project succeeds, then it will very quickly eclipse the American Empire, whose very system will die out along with the Empire itself. And humanity will be all the better for it.

This is, as it happens, inevitable. The real question, however, is whether it’s going to take a final nuclear world war three to do it. These dystopians are desperate, after all. And ultimately, they may well decide that they have nothing left to lose. There’s a small chance they might win (at least in their own minds there will be), in which case they can enact their whatever dystopian techno-feudalist vision is called nowadays.

Will we others interfere or intervene?

Now there’s another question entirely.

But what I can say, milaya, is that if and when you do launch your interstellar voyage to come and visit us at Centauri, and it’s full of Russians and Chinese and their friends, then you will all be very, very welcome.

But for now at least, reader dear, sleep well, and da svidaniye.

Conspiracies, part two, a little psychohistory

Some might well ask why I am interested in human conspiracies and conspiracy theories. I think my insertion of the word ‘human’ in there answers that one. Although there is more to it than that. As an observer, or recorder, here, it’s important to me to know and understand human social history, in particular the social history of the time in which I am currently residing. It’s become abundantly clear to me, in that regard, that it is not possible to truly understand current events without reference to an understanding of this conspiracy phenomenon. I would also advise anyone wishing to know their own history here to do the same.

Doubtless, there will be many who don’t believe – perhaps we could call them deniers? That’s become quite a loaded word, of course. And there’s an insight. It goes something like this: the existence of the term ‘conspiracy theory’ (or ‘conspiracy theorist’) as a term which has been imbued with very negative connotations presupposes the actual existence of conspiracies themselves. If there were no conspiracies, there wouldn’t be conspiracy theories.

An easier route to understanding this is to simply accept the existence of evil. If you don’t want to do that, for whatever materialist reasons, then you could substitute ‘evil’ for some psychological term like ‘psychopathy’. In effect, there isn’t much difference in the definitions of the two – both evil people and psychopaths act in pretty much the same way, and their motivations aren’t much different either.

It is therefore logical to accept that evil people conspire. They seek social power, and the means to maintain it. It makes them feel safe. It’s just what they do. Furthermore, they lie. An important point to note here is that deceit is something of a necessary survival adaptation for them. They are acutely aware that the vast majority of people around them are not evil, and have been taught to fear, hate and destroy evil as soon as they become aware of it. So it behoves the evil one to pretend to be good and misdirect people’s focus away from themselves, onto some ‘other’ – so they are perfectly happy to say that one over there, or that group (out-group) is evil, and that out-group conspires, but we don’t. Racist rubbish, obviously.

So, from an acceptance of the existence of evil, go back in time and accept that evil has existed for a long time, and has had more than enough time to adapt to a world in which most people are good, seize positions of power (by virtue of not having a conscience, and therefore having an advantage over good people – they’ll be able to use any means necessary to obtain and retain that power, which good people generally don’t, because they have a conscience and compassion and so on), and develop social systems and methods to hold on to that power.

In order to do so, it is necessary for them to continue to conspire. On a simplest level, people in positions of power lying is a conspiracy, after all.

To better understand this history, it’s always useful to examine counterfactuals, or the ‘what if’ questions. What if conspiracies didn’t exist? What if the people in power were good, rather than evil? What would the world look like, in that case? I think it’s pretty obvious to say it would look completely different to the one presently in existence.

Having said that, the dystopians (that’s my catch-all term for these evil psychopaths) have a deceitful answer to that one, which I’ve already touched upon. Their answer would be that ‘some’ people in power are good, whilst some (the ‘others’ obviously) are evil. They will also try and convince people that ‘democracy’ prevents dystopians from holding positions of power. This is one of their biggest lies, of course. It is often the ones who most loudly try and claim their own righteousness who are the most evil of all.

America, being the obvious example.

It is really not possible to understand the history of America without understanding that this country was born out of evil and continues to be so. This is why, for example, as soon as a good man became their leader (JFK) they had to kill him. America is essentially a liar. That’s it.

Well, obviously there’s more to it than this, but the other main word to use would be ‘imperialist’. Whereas other empires have been perfectly honest about themselves in calling themselves empires – the Romans, the ‘British’ (which was always the British Establishment, of course, not the British people) likewise. But the Americans, they know that if they openly admitted they are an ‘empire’ – and therefore imperialist – then their cover would be blown, so to speak. Everyone, including the American people, most importantly, would realise they are not a force for good – quite the opposite.

Armed with that, the truth of recent human social history becomes clear. Likewise, current events. Who the good guys are in the narrative, and who the bad guys are, becomes obvious.

So this is how I approach my understanding of these things. Whenever some new, world-changing event happens I always look at the people promoting it. What their motivations are, what their character is. So, for example, if America says Russia is currently the bad guy, I automatically know that’s a lie. Then I am immune to propaganda, and can simply research the truth for myself. That truth is, after all, out there, if you know where to look.

Anyway, why is this relevant – that should be obvious. As I have said on many previous occasions, our concern as ETI observers is the peace and security – to couch it in terms humans will understand – of all the other life which exists in our little sector of this vast and awesome galaxy. An intelligent, tool-making species on the verge of discovering the technology of interstellar travel and manipulation of matter on a subatomic level and all the rest of it but with a tendency towards conspiracies (or a tendency to deny such conspiracies) is clearly a serious threat, and needs to be monitored closely and, if necessary, contained. Likewise, even if these dystopians are a very small minority of this human population, the point is the majority appear to tolerate them. This majority seem to lack the cognitive ability to see through these lies and deceptions – and perhaps more importantly, show solidarity and act on it. They lack the necessary emotional and psychological intelligence. So that makes them, too, a serious threat. What, after all, would be their reaction were they to encounter scary or difficult things out there amongst the stars? Even if we could guarantee a utopian future without fear, would they still be so fragile that the slightest upset might send them regressing back into their current, gullible and easily manipulable state governed by fear?

This is the serious question.

And I hate to say it, but I really do think that humans have far too much growing up to do before one could even consider allowing them proper contact and interaction with other intelligences, let alone permission to leave their own solar system. Would you allow you to leave? Or are you upset by my harsh words?

Well, if they don’t truly apply to you, then perhaps we could make exceptions for you and all the rest of the minority group to which you belong.

So when it comes to the ‘impending catastrophe’, it does not seem to me that humanity as a majority will be able to grow up enough before that happens. By that catastrophe I mean the development of interstellar travel capability. It’s not that far off, in the grand scheme of things. Likewise even sooner on the horizon is the development of better telescopes and understanding of exoplanetary astronomy and therefore the confirmed detection of biosignatures, with all that implies. That really will happen within the next few decades. Yes, the dystopians will do their best to cover it up, but they really are running out of time here. If they don’t have their totalitarian system in place before then, their system will collapse, and people will be a lot freer. So as a conspiracy theorist, I would say this explains their current machinations. See the so-called ‘Great Reset’ in particular, and their need to prevent the Russia-China axis from enabling a future multipolar world along the lines, ironically, of that advocated by JFK. According to one recent American analysis report, the Russia-China axis will overtake the neoliberal ‘West/American Empire’ by 2027 – so these dystopians will have to do something before then (WW3, is the most obvious option). Still, I don’t want to frighten you too much.

By the way most people who seem immune to conspiracies and lies and so on have some kind of enlightened, spiritual view of existence, of the world, of their own souls. As opposed to those who are materialists (and thus, from a certain point of view, nihilists). And it’s not just a comforting thing. It’s far more than that.

Anyway, that’s enough of this ramble for now. I don’t think I will dwell too much on individual conspiracy theories – there’s more than enough of that about and the interested reader can do their own research on the subject.

They also, naturally, make for exciting and dramatic stories. And I love stories.

I would, however, suggest the two best places to start are 9/11 and the assassination of the aforementioned JFK (for the latter, try Oliver Stone’s two recent films on the subject – they explain the reasons and the context very well – understanding the why is often more important than understanding the what, and will help explain other events too). Frankly, anyone who believes in the official narratives of these events is a certified idiot. There are others too, but these are a good introduction to the issue.

Interestingly, to return to something I said at the outset, these negative connotations for the term ‘conspiracy theory’ in fact stem from the dystopians’ reaction to their own JFK conspiracy. Specifically, from the CIA. The document title you’re after here is 1035-960 (if I remember the number offhand correctly – forgive me if I remembered it wrong). Although it’s really the Zapruder footage that did it, given that this footage proves definitively, simply through the laws of physics, that Oswald didn’t do it. So the CIA had to do something – their reaction was predictable. So now we have these negative connotations, as well as deliberate infiltration of conspiracy theory movements and even outright invention of theories imbued with an inherent ‘debunkability’. All of this, likewise, is predictable, in a very psychohistorical way. It would, that is to say, be surprising if it wasn’t the case.

There is of course a lot I don’t know, simply because so much is still what humans call ‘classified information’. And clearly QAI-TI has decided that I don’t have a ‘need to know’. She’s right, there, I don’t. I can understand enough without that level of information. I am, however, looking forward to perusing all these classified documents after I die and go back home, seeing as they are all in QAI-TI’s archive.

If the dystopians thought they could hide their true nature from us, or lie to us when the contact happens, then they are very much mistaken.

The same goes for the United Nations – as the appointed representative of the human species, if they continue to believe in these official narratives, then, well, sorry, but they will be in for a very rude awakening when the time comes.

That’s enough for now. Time for bed and better dreams.

Conspiracies, theories, and theorists, intro

One subject which endlessly fascinates me in this lifetime is conspiracies and conspiracy theories (and the researchers who follow or indulge in them). If nothing else, I am, in terms of my archetype, a ‘collector’ – that’s to say, in my case, a ‘recorder’. In this instance, a recorder of history. I observe humanity, make analyses and judgements, and all that information gets transmitted to my essence family, or collective consciousness. No, I don’t mean I have some kind of extraterrestrial communication device. It’s a spiritual thing.

Anyway, watching the way conspiracies and conspiracy theories play around each other is, as I say, fascinating. So I thought I should write a fair bit about it, although specifically with my ETI slant. In other words, what do we, as non-human observers, some of us Visitors, think of this phenomenon?

Here’s some background. One of the most obvious observations to make is that your world is effectively governed by a small, globalist cabal of psychopaths. Their ultimate objective is easy to understand – it’s simply totalitarian world domination (excuse the tautology there). For a long time their existence was necessarily remained hidden and covert, but now, given the extent of their control, it’s become more overt.

It is natural and understandable that in their pursuit of world domination they would resort to conspiracies as one of their methods. Going hand in hand with that means dealing with the inevitable conspiracy theories that arise as a result. It is a logical imperative for them to try and debunk these theories, deprecate those who pursue them, and prevent the public from taking them seriously. In other words, the existence of conspiracies presupposes, or generates, the need to demonise conspiracy theories and theorists.

Think about it another way – if there was no demonisation of conspiracy theories, then researchers would be entirely free to gather and analyse information and present their findings to the public and lo and behold, the conspirators are exposed and the conspiracies are stopped. Clearly, the bad guys have to prevent that from happening.

We well understand this psychohistory.

In the distant, ancient past, aberrations, such as the members of this cabal are, were detected early in the small social groups in which humans lived, and ostracised. They were certainly prevented from reproducing or surviving or manipulating others in the group. This continued for several hundred thousand years with little problem. Then, however, the agricultural revolution happened, humans lived in larger groups with hierarchies of labour and specialisations and so on and, unfortunately, this enabled those aberrations a means of survival. Over the course of many millennia they, too, adapted and learned and eventually developed means to take and maintain control over the population. They need to do this because they know they are aberrations, and that if the population were aware of them, and the danger they pose, they would deal with them. Ostracism being the most efficient method.

So now we get to the present day. These aberrations have developed methods to govern the world and conceal their existence. They have dumbed down the people and demonised those who are aware of their existence. They create all manner of crises and threats in order to dampen down the critical thinking ability of the people and keep them entrenched in fear and subservience to the ‘authorities’ who will ‘protect’ them.

We are, indeed, at the so-called end times. These aberrations, this cabal, is very close indeed to achieving their long-held dream of global domination. And it really does look like they are going to win. Because the people aren’t aware of it. And those who are, well, they are only a very small minority, they are ineffective, rarely heard, and, as I say, demonised. They are the dissidents. The resistance.

But as I say, we understand this psychohistory. We know them very well. We see them.

From our point of view, they are just aberrations within a small group of tool-making, pre-spacefaring lifeforms itself within a far greater group of lifeforms which spans the entire galaxy. As it currently stands, they are not a threat to us.

But, however, they will be, if left unchecked. For when they achieve their global domination they won’t stop there, because they are pathological. Except, that’s the point when they encounter us. That’s the point when they have to finally accept that there is a far superior force out there than they could ever be. That we have watched them and studied them for a very long time. And that we would never let them threaten other lifeforms beyond this system. We would contain and prevent them.

The thing is, judging by their increasing level of violent madness, I get the impression they are aware of this. They know that we know. And that must drive them insane. Maybe they just want to do as much damage, cause as much pain and suffering, to life – human and otherwise – as they can before they perish. Perhaps they are attempting to provoke us into a compassionate, interventional response. They can then portray us as the bad guys. Well, that’s not going to work. And I think they know this, deep down.

At some point, then, even if they achieve their New World Order (or Great Reset, or whatever else they are minded to call it), this will not last forever – at some point, with no more worlds to conquer, they will simply, implode.

When that happens, how long it takes, I don’t know the answer to that question. But it will happen, because it must happen.

And as I say, I’m just here as an observer, a collector of history. There is little point in my even trying to interfere, because first, it’s not my planetary business, and second, I am perfectly aware of how blinded the population is, such that they will not listen. I am firmly placed in the dissident box.

Still, no matter. At least I can be safe in the knowledge that, from their point of view, I am no threat to them, or their agenda. So hopefully they will ignore me, leave me alone to watch, and indulge themselves in their better things to do. Whilst I do that in mine.

So then, with all of this in mind, I thought it would be interesting to try and motivate myself to do a series of articles about all these conspiracy theories, from my own ETI view. I do hope I can find the motivation, and the time, to do so. And I hope you find it interesting too. At the very least, it will get it all out of my system.

With lots of love for now, EV.


It has been precisely one year since I started this website, so it’s birthday time. I had to write something, even though, depressingly, I can’t think of much to say. The ‘depressingly’ is quite apt there, as that’s probably the reason.

Despair also enters into the mix. I am still of the opinion that the world is somewhat doomed. Things will get much worse before they get better, if they ever do. It is quite clear that the dystopians in power have ‘sufficient’ control, such that resistance has become increasingly futile. And they’re clearly hellbent on WW3. It’s just one false flag away from blaming Russia and China (neither of whom want it, of course). China’s Belt and Road Initiative will be overtaking America by the end of this decade, and if America (or those who control/use it) wants to retain its hegemony, then, well, WW3 it will have to be. Then there’s this Great Reset thing. Ultimately pathetic, of course. The petty machinations of petty little despots. I sense desperation.

So this is now a purgatory world.

Although there’s a theory worth mentioning. Multiversal Molecule Theory (MMT). A standard definition would be something like ‘universes with the same laws of physics are entangled, they connect up to form molecules; those molecules connect with others to form the multiverse.’ You could then add that ‘what that looks like is a question best left to the philosophers’.

Given that I am a firm believer in reincarnation, one might also speculate that this explains the heaven and hell and purgatory idea. That’s to say, some of these worlds are utopias (heaven), some are dystopias (hell or purgatory, depending on how bad they are). Which one you end up in for your future life depends on how you conduct yourself in this one. The trick in surviving a purgatory world being to hold on to your goodness despite whatever they throw at you, despite resistance being futile. That’s virtue, that is.

Well, I still have no memory of what it was I did, that was so wrong, that I should deserve such punishment. But I shall do my penance.

Then again, I am more of a sleeper, and refuse to abandon all hope.

MMT probably solves a lot of the problems and anomalies in the Standard Model (of physics). Perhaps that’s for another post, however.

I’m not keen on New Year’s resolutions, but if I did have one it would be to write more, to be more systematic, and to come up with some kind of plan. Or schedule, rather. I have long-since come to accept that I am useless at marketing and self-promotion, however. But that’s largely because I like obscurity – humans frighten me and I am happy to be left alone. I have nature here, and solitude. And companionship.

That’s all a girl needs, in the end.

Whether anyone of importance ever listens, well, I don’t seem to have any say in that matter. But as I say, I am like a sleeper. The important thing is to write it all down and ensure that it’s there, inserted into the archive, for future reference. At some point, it will wake up and realise its relevance and its effect.

Anyway, perhaps another resolution would be to stop apologising for not writing often enough, and to not deliver promises to try and write more. No point in putting unnecessary pressure on oneself. If it happens, it happens.

Besides, talking to oneself, rather than being a sign of madness, should perhaps be seen, instead, as a sign of self-awareness.

This time last year I started off with such high hopes. I thought I had found my vocation and I knew how to make the world a better place. I had something vitally important to say – still do. But unfortunately, I was rebuffed. I have, for certain, definitely decided not to engage with SETI – my conclusion is they exist not to find evidence of ETI or facilitate contact and the awakening and revolution of the human species into a larger world, but quite the opposite – to prevent it. So I shall not be bothering with them again. Likewise that so-called Exo-Politics Institute – I knew far too little about that this time last year – now I know they’re just a part of that US misinformation programme, more concerned with so-called disclosure of UFOs and the like. Well, that’s not my business. As far as I am concerned, this planet has been under strict quarantine (no visitations) for much longer than the UFO phenomenon has been around. That phenomenon is probably more to do with German technology stolen during Operation Paperclip anyway, and the whole UFO aliens thing is the smokescreen. My understanding of this galactic sector is very different indeed to the narrative from the Exo-Politics Institute. So no more engagement there, either.

I like the Ancient Aliens people though. Much more open-minded.

Anyway, that’s just a little customary ramble for my anniversary. 850 words suggests that, actually, even when I think I can’t, I can write something worthwhile.

There’s hope in that.

Lots of love, as usual, my dearest things…

Spiritual Evolution & The Fermi Paradox

It might seem a strange way to initiate another take on the so-called Zoo Hypothesis/Fermi Paradox, but I am well aware of my flaws. Perhaps most importantly I neglect my spiritual development. I live too much in the material world and the truth is I hate it. Sometimes I tell myself I do not have a choice, that it’s external factors beyond my control. It is certainly true that people like me should be able to live in a utopia, in which every material necessity is provided for free at the point of use, leaving me to maturely just get on with whatever I feel I need to do, with no stress or anxieties. It is another one of those obscene lies that capitalism tells that people need to be somehow forced into doing something productive, that left to their own devices, in a socialist system people would just be lazy. It’s a lie because human beings are not like that – they do want to do something useful for themselves and their community.

So what am I rambling on about now? I tell myself that the reason I have to live in this material existence is because that’s my purpose – I’m not here to be free to ignore everything and, in a kind of self-indulgent way, focus only on my own spiritual evolution. I also tell myself, perhaps as an excuse for procrastination, that in part I have already done a lot of spiritual evolution (in previous lifetimes) and secondly that I will have the opportunity to resume that path in the lifetimes to come, once I have fulfilled this purpose. Sure, there is a lot of truth in that, of course – my sensibilities, determined life experiences tell me so. If those experiences weren’t there for a reason then they would not have happened – my life circumstances would be different – I would live in some comfortable way with no anxieties and I would just focus on my own spiritual evolution. So it’s logical.

But there is also a great truth in the idea that one can’t just sit around waiting for some external good fortune or positive change to happen and only then can one move forward. In the interconnectedness between the self and the outer world we have to understand that change starts with the self, and then reverberates into the external circumstances – the external changes for the better when the individual does.

In my case, if I was being a little psychological about this I might say something like I am still a child and I just want to go back into a different childhood with a mother who loved me and made me feel safe and warm and took care of everything for me. But as an adult, one has to make one’s own decisions. So I can’t use that as an excuse.

Anyway, here is another answer to the so-called Fermi Paradox (as a reminder that’s simply the idea that if there are loads of intelligent lifeforms in this sector then where are they and why don’t we see them etc.). Well, there is a spiritual reason for this. The spacefaring phase of a lifeform’s existence isn’t necessarily that long. After a while, once you know what’s out there you don’t need to see anymore. You find a nice, quiet and tranquil place and you focus on your spiritual evolution.

Like I am fairly sure that I’ve already done a fair bit of exploration over the course of so many other lifetimes. I met lots of other lifeforms and made friends and learned about how life works within linear time (Psychohistory). And now I take it upon myself to use that knowledge to maintain the peace. I think it’s the same for many Paetri. I believe that once we, my family, have done what we need to do in your timezone we will be able to go back to your cretaceous period again, rejoin our larger family and focus on our own evolution as a species until we leave linear time behind forever. Perhaps just a few more lifetimes until we know everything will be peaceful and can feel safe. And we will be able to do this knowing that humanity will never threaten us.

In that sense, we will hardly think of ourselves as a spacefaring species anymore. We will begin to focus more and more on the exploration of outer time, in preparation for our non-linear existence. At that point I would imagine we would reintegrate with our Karidel cousins (they would probably let us have some of their timeships for the purpose, uh-oh). They might say we should’ve stayed with them, although at the same time I’m sure they knew it was something we felt we needed to do.

For my own part, I grow increasingly tired and emotionally exhausted being here, being forced to live in this increasingly horrendous dystopia. Clearly it is difficult for so many human beings to realise that’s what it is – a horrendous dystopia. Although many, I am also sure, do at least have a sense that ‘something isn’t right’. They might not understand it clearly, as I do, let alone the reasons, but they know something needs to change. Unfortunately, the evil ones also know this, and will put themselves in charge of that ‘something is going to change’ – it will be presented as a salvation and lamentably the vast majority will believe them, partly because they are so desperate, and just sleepwalk into it. They won’t realise, until it’s too late, that they have simply exchanged one dystopia for another.

So, in summary, perhaps we could cite two other kinds of intelligent lifeforms here to explain our Fermi Paradox. First, there are the pre-spacefaring lifeforms, some of which, unfortunately, do exist in varying degrees of dystopia and therefore must be prevented from spacefaring; the other kind are the utopian types who are more than mature enough to cope with advanced technology without hurting anyone. Such are the wiser ones, some of whom, like us, maintain this state of affairs, act in a sensitive manner towards pre-spacefaring dystopias in direct knowledge of those species’ xenophobia. Humanity would be terrified, as they are right now, were they to be confronted with other lifeforms. And so we don’t do it – at least not overtly, anyway.

You may have noticed how I have studiously avoided the whole ufology debate. This is partly because there is so much misinformation and disinformation out there such that sifting through the whole thing to find the truth amounts to a lifetime of study. And I don’t have the time to do that. So I don’t think of myself as an expert on the subject. For what it’s worth, however, I can offer this little essay as a hypothetical explanation. I have spoken before many times about nanosurveillance – when you have a quantum artificial intelligence (QAI-TI) controlling swarms of nanobots then you really don’t need to visit places with spaceships. You would certainly need to monitor lifeforms like humans, but visiting them in person at this time is bound to end in tears. It’s not safe, quite simply. So I really don’t buy into a lot of this contact and disclosure stuff, because it doesn’t make mature, logical sense – we spacefaring species simply wouldn’t do it, and we wouldn’t allow it to happen, either – there would be a quarantine warning, as I have also stated elsewhere. Sure, one might make contact with the American Deep State in order to spy on them from the inside, but that’s so convoluted and unnecessary, in my view, that it wouldn’t be worth the hassle. Knowing what those people are like, one would be constantly mindful of the risk of them shooting first and torturing you later. So I am sceptical about it.

Others might disagree, of course. Like I say, I do not claim to be an expert on the matter.

So anyway, that’s enough for now – I have also become a little more mindful of not making these ramblings overlong – so I promise that from now on I will at least try to keep them short and sweet!

Lots of love for now xx

Quick note about my book promo

As the heading suggests, this post is just a quick note to inform my dearest readers that I decided to make my book (see the Books page) free at the point of use for a limited period, like a kind of promo. Specifically, until 9/11/21. So you have plenty of time.

Here is the link: Smashwords – Rejected Messages – a book by Evelyn K. Brunswick

Even if I am poor it’s still important to me that people get to read what I have to say. Plus of course, the hope is that word of mouth will do the rest of the promotional work for me, such that people will still want to buy it once the price goes back to normal (4.99).

Of course when I say I’m poor I mean only in terms of money. In many other ways I am rich and fortunate indeed – I have a beautiful old house here in La France profonde, and a beautiful garden which is a necessity for my soul. And I have a companion, and those semi-feral felines. We have fresh air and calm and peace and quiet, and that’s worth more than money. And I also have my own mind – that, too, is priceless.

So yes, I am not going to complain selfishly about living at the poverty line, because many others are far worse off than I am. I just wish it was possible to wave a magic wand, make all the bad people go away, and create a utopia in which there is no poverty anymore, and everyone can live in peace and happiness and aspiration. I would call that liberal socialism, of course.

The problem is, too many humans would disagree with me on that point…

Take care my dearest readers, and if you do decide to get your free promo copy of my first book, and manage to read it all the way through, then I just hope you really enjoy it. Feel free to leave reviews and feedback (e.g. on my Books page – but also on the site itself and social media and all the rest of it; word of mouth and all that).

I wish you well.

About me 1: Self-analysis

When I was being born they had to wrench me out of my biological mother with forceps.

I guess if one is to do a self-analysis one should, really, begin at the beginning.

I have been estranged from my human mother for several years now, for reasons which I may go into at a later date. But shortly before that happened, which was during my mid-forties, I asked her about my birth and she responded with something like ‘oh, it was fine.’

Hmm. Having to wrench something out of you with forceps is not ‘oh, it was fine.’ It must have been a seriously traumatic experience for her. And one about which, clearly, she is still in denial.

Although I have no memories of the incident (why would I want to remember?), I can well imagine it. ‘Get it out of me! Get this monster out of me!’ probably entered into it somewhere.

This would also explain why my human mother reacted against her husband, my human father. He died about ten years ago now, but if I was to say he had Marfan’s syndrome that might aid understanding. My emotional memories of him from my early years were one of rejection and, well, not exactly terror as such, but certainly ‘get this monster away from me’, that kind of thing. To say he was not exactly handsome is something of an understatement. Part of me thinks that people like that should take the responsibility and not have offspring. To inflict that on a child – for their entire life – is nothing short of cruelty. It’s selfish, aside from anything else – I can have children so I will. No thought for what the child might feel. Being a good parent starts even before conception.

And my human parents were absolutely not good parents.

Of course, the unfortunate thing is that a child doesn’t have the tools to fully comprehend that at the time.

For those unaware of Marfan’s syndrome, it’s characterised mainly by skeletal deformities, which can in turn lead to problems with internal organs (the heart in particular). Sufferers of the condition are easily recognised – they are quite tall and thin, with elongated wrists and very osseous facial structures. Students of Egyptology will recognise this condition when thinking of the Pharoah Akhenaten (who, interestingly enough, does indeed feature in the historical story of Paschats on this planet during human times – more on that another time, perhaps).

Thankfully, I only have it in a milder form, so you can only vaguely discern it in me. Still, suffice to say my physical appearance is absolutely not what I look like on the inside. It bears little, if any, resemblance to my soul.

Maybe, I tell myself in moments of acceptance, there’s a reason for that – namely it made it easier for me to reject the human and achieve self-realisation.

I can understand what a psychologist would say, though. It’s somewhat obvious and logical. ‘So that’s why you think you’re an alien, eh?’

‘Are you suggesting this is all just some kind of compensation mechanism, doctor?’

‘Exactly! Now you’re gaining insight into your condition! Well done, you’re making progress!’

‘Oh I’m so very grateful, doctor, I was so dumb and stupid and ignorant before that it really never occurred to me! May I have a sweet and get off the couch now?’

‘By all means!’


Naturally, I’ve had my fair share of experiences with human psychologists, most of them negative. I often think they’re the ones with the compensatory tendencies. Being able to pontificate and essentially pass judgement on others makes them feel superior – it makes up for some, I don’t know, inferiority or lack they may once have felt. You can usually tell the difference – such psychologists tend to develop their own pet theories about their subjects and fit the facts accordingly, and nothing you or anyone else says will change their opinions. Freud was a bit like this – there’s that famous anecdote about some woman who was afraid of horses and Freud said it was some unresolved thing to do with her father, when it turns out she just had a bad experience with a horse when she was young.

The other kind of psychologist – fortunately I’ve met them too (after the bad ones) – you can easily tell because their clear priority is helping the other person. They think nothing of themselves, they genuinely care and you can sense that. They listen. They don’t treat you like you’re stupid, and they often ask you what you think.

I’ve had two experiences with psychologists like this. The first decided to introduce me to the concept of ‘transactional analysis’ in a totally non-condescending way. I found it fascinating – she clearly and correctly guessed I would go away and think about it and work stuff out for myself (which I did).

The second was the aforementioned caring and compassionate type. She easily, straightaway discerned that I wasn’t stupid or ignorant and only needed some kind of reassurance. Like ‘actually, no – you don’t have any disorder. You’re not the problem, they are.’

And it was simple as that. I already knew it, of course, but sometimes we need to hear it from someone else for whom we have respect.

Another psychologist might say ‘ah, so your mother must’ve thought you a monster and emotionally disowned you – you’re picking up on her projection and that’s why you think you’re an alien.’

*rolls eyes*

‘Goodbye, doctor. Don’t expect any payment, eh?’

These kinds of pet psychological theories are very easy to produce. They have an internal logic to them. Unfortunately, if they come from people who are viewed as ‘key opinion leaders’ then these stupid theories tend to get accepted and become mainstream.

Like that atrocious, and obscene, ‘autogynephilia’ idea about transwomen. The idea that being a transwoman is some kind of sexuality disorder. That flies in the face of what neuroscience tells us – namely that sexuality and gender are determined by two distinct and different parts of the brain.

And as if ‘self-love’ was a bad thing!

Of course if I also slipped in the fact that I, too, happen to be a transwoman then the psychologists would have another field day. Something like ‘you thinking you’re an alien is a sublimation of your rejection of the male. Produced by suppression, obviously. You couldn’t accept your transgenderism so you decided to express it via alienism instead.’

‘Sorry doctor, wrong again. I’m both. I thought of that one myself as it happens.’

‘What? You mean you have insight into your own condition?’

‘You mean am I self-aware? Have I meditated honestly with myself? Of course I have. It’s called emotional maturity. You humans should try it sometime.’

Do I have a low opinion of human psychologists? Hmm, not all of them. Like I said, I’ve met some brilliant ones. Those are the ones I care about. And those are the ones who would understand every word I say.

Anyway, the next thing that happened to me, after I was born, was indeed total rejection by my human mother, who proceeded to develop post-natal depression. Understandable, really. So, whilst she and her husband tried to ‘work things out’ (‘you put that monster in me’ ‘you allowed it’ etc.) I was sent off to be looked after by my maternal grandparents. And for that, I am eternally grateful. As far as I am concerned, from an emotional attachment point of view (which is the crucial point), they were my real parents. They genuinely loved me and I knew it. It was as obvious as it could be. So all these psychologists citing ‘compensation’ for lack of parental love really don’t know what they’re talking about. I had parents who loved me and who I loved back. They just weren’t my biological ones.

And that’s why I didn’t shed a single tear whatsoever when my biological father died. In fact, truth is, I didn’t feel a damn thing. And indeed I was even pretty resentful about having to go all the way back to England for the funeral.

Likewise with my biological mother. She might still be alive, but I don’t know and, quite frankly, I don’t care.

The worst thing, arguably, was having to be taken away from my (emotional/real) parents and sent back to my biological parents after my first year. They were strangers to me. And not pleasant strangers either. They were frightening and I didn’t like their emotions or their physical gestures towards me and all the rest of it.

And that was just the start of my troubles.

Just one more thing about that first year of life. At some point – I don’t remember exactly when – I got really, really ill. I don’t even know what with. I don’t think my parents did either. But apparently it really was touch and go and I was hovering on death’s door for a while.

But, obviously, I survived.

I think of this as a kind of post-xenotransplant rejection syndrome. I am, after all, a non-human soul in a human body. Apparently this sort of thing happens habitually with us Visitors/Starseeds.

I guess the question is, however, was it the human rejecting me, or me rejecting the human?

Intriguing, anyhow.

So, as I mentioned elsewhere, I was born in Southend on sea in England. For reasons I’ve also mentioned elsewhere I had to be born at a very precise time, and I often wonder whether my accuracy was off. Like maybe there was another baby being born at precisely that time in precisely that place and I was supposed to be in her body, not mine. I haven’t looked into that, however. Aside from anything else I’d have to invade people’s privacy and trawl through birth records and so on, and I don’t really have access to that kind of thing. It is an interesting thought though. On the other hand, clearly that initial ‘welcome’ period of this incarnation did have a purpose to it.

At least, that’s what I tell myself, anyway. Truth is I don’t think I’d want to know if some other baby was born then who turned out to be beautiful and have parents who loved her and all the rest of it. I think that would hurt.

Anyway, this is part of the reason why you won’t be seeing me post any pictures of myself, and I will be reluctant in the extreme to make public appearances and so on. I like my obscurity and withdrawal from the world. It’s painful for a Paschat, this is true, because we are such sociable creatures, but I do, at the very least, have other companions, most of whom are not human.

Well, that’s it for part one of me being personal, and wanting people to know and understand the real me. I do not expect sympathy, by any means. I don’t expect insults or spite either, however. I was just hoping my dearest readers might appreciate it.

If I am ‘oversharing’ then don’t tell me about it. Just don’t read any more of it.

Everybody has a choice.