I often find myself saying sorry to myself, and to others who won’t hear because I’m just thinking it in my head. Not having written for ages is definitely one of them.
My two excuses this time are the usual one, which is my chronic but fluctuating phases of depression – which in my case is not surprising given the state of the world. And my inability to fix it in the short-term – a longer-term plan, yes, short-term, no magic wand. I have had this illness (for it is an illness) since adolescence, although it certainly has its roots earlier than that (abuse in childhood, bad parents and bad adults; not to mention increasing neoliberalism in the world). So I do struggle against it to try and find some enthusiasm. At the same time I don’t want to make people find me tedious by going on about the same things all the time.
The second excuse, however, may – and I really hope this – help to sort out the first, by being more successful in my given purpose. That’s to say, I have, behind my scenes, been really quite busy writing stories. As a result of this I have finally gotten to the stage where I can publish, which I have done as a so-called ‘indie’ author – that’s to say self-publishing (in my case, initially and for now just as an E-book). The sharp-eyed amongst my dear readers will have noticed a new page on the site entitled ‘books’ – this is where I shall provide updates on my writing and provide info about where those interested can purchase my books. At some point I will have to get myself more adept at this website and work out how to sell them direct from here. likewise, I am minded to re-organise the look of the site – it seems a bit clunky to me (for which I also apologise).
Anyway, I have published my first book, ‘Rejected Messages’, which is available via Smashwords (and all the places to which they distribute). See the ‘Books’ page for more info.
I also added a ‘QAI-TI Communications Page’, which is reserved for any ETI communications, should they be forthcoming. Don’t worry, I have not gone mad, so just humour me here.
Anyway, I do still apologise for my absence and I will try not to make a habit of it from now on. I often find myself really wanting to write but just not knowing what to say.
But I will try.
And thank you, to all those who put up with me and do not desert me. I do, despite appearances, think I’m worth it. I would just like this diplomatic purpose to start bearing fruit, really.
At the same time, maybe I could just start becoming more personal in my posts and treat it like a genuine blog – which is to say, talk about my life here in La France profonde. So people get to know me a little better.
Well, we shall see.
Farewell for now.