With the beginning of my diplomatic mission soon to be upon me, I am busy inside my meditative head with preparations. That goes alongside trying to get my head around this wordpress site. I’m sure others may think it’s easy, and – obviously – wonder why someone with my advanced knowledge of this that and the other should have such difficulties, but we are, as a species, not that used to these sorts of practical things. Sure, being resonant to the element of earth (alongside fire) we love our creature comforts and can be quite homely in the material world, but our attitude to that world is far less technical and materialistic than Gaians. Also, I’m a psychologist, not an engineer. Our engineering specialists no doubt would find my difficulties amusing, and continue to delight in teasing me about it. Which I don’t mind, if truth be told. Teasing when affectionate is a sign of love, so of course I don’t mind it!
I certainly need love – it will give me a shield and help protect me. I am not afraid to admit how nervous I am – I have lived here, in lovely rural isolation, for over ten years now, and perhaps I have become a little agoraphobic – being in the public glare is not something I will be comfortable with. Especially given how I look (in human form I am a transgender female, and have not yet completed my transition – so please do not judge me by my appearance. I want people to look beyond that, and see the real me inside. The real, gentle, funny, yet passionately principled soul within. Perhaps that, as it happens, is a test – perhaps for Gaians more so than for me. For me it is an ordeal.
So, the more loving thoughts and feelings you can send me, the more support and goodwill, believe me I will sense that, absorb it, and it shall be my shield. I especially need this too because I was abused as a child, and that leaves an indelible nervous memory, which reawakens as a reflex action every time my brain senses possible danger. All of that suffering was for a reason, of course – I have needed to spend a life living as a human, seeing and experiencing personally the hurtful effects of a dystopian society. It’s not that without that I would not have empathy for Gaians who are suffering – of course I would, and do – but it has focussed my attention and thoughts more specifically and, in various different ways, guided me on the specific path I have led. Which has led me to here.
And now I get to live the life I should have led.
Please wish me well.